Week 7 - Reconnection In Real Life
- 2 days ago
- 12 min read
Returning to self.
Before the weekend David came to me with a sad heart, telling me one of his client's was about to lose his deposit due to unfortunate circumstances and a shitty market.
The client is a good, hardworking man with a wife and children.
I asked David to give me all the possible scenarios - good and bad - of potential outcomes.
There wasn't a lot of silver lining, however with creativity and determination possibility always exists.
He had that upset stomach feeling for the conversation he had to have with his client - painting any sense of optimism he could to go along with the news.
The client took it well.
I kept telling him that miracles happen and stayed focused on the tiny little hopeful scenario that would turn it around.
And guess what?!
Last night he told me it may just work out.
This morning he told "the other side" the honest situation and they too gave hope of making it happen.
How do I keep the faith that it always works out?
Because it's happened this way every time before.
Talk about the scenario to someone who will make you feel supported.
Accept the worst case and explore the best case.
Show up, stay determined and keep your heart open that things will turn around.
Be honest, communicate and hold onto hope without giving unrealistic expectations.
Celebrate the good news with gratitude.
Plant, water and grow the belief that life is always working out for you, even when you can't see it - yet.
I'm a big believer in "knowing what I don't want, shows me more clearly what I do want."
I also believe, before we can truly and authentically create a heart-centred life we desire.. we must acknowledge, admit, understand and have awareness of the history that got us here.
Looking around the world today - majority of us are living in generationally passed trauma that we likely don't even know about. Leaving behind a life of depression, to me, comes from following a passion bigger than yourself. The fear fades when you know what you're doing matters.
So before we create our dream life --- here's a history lesson on real life. :)
June 11, 2026
I watched these videos while my daughter was at school. After picking her up we went to the park.
I have this, inner battle, where I want to create a brand/business/mission/movement that is based around re-connecting mothers to themselves and as a result, their children. I believe the only way to make change is leading by example.
I want to share parts of my life online, including the relationship I have with my daughter - as a demonstration/role model to the life we can have with our families.
And also - everything about the online world scares me.
I can't even imagine what it must have been like for any family who has lost a child for any reason.
Which is actually the thought that brings me back to presence - I have her - now. Am I fully enjoying and embracing the short-lived childhood that I am privileged to be experiencing with her?
____
She was born to shine.
Her personality is so vibrant and full - my only wish is that she is able to keep it alive and blossom into whoever she wants to be.
She met up with her two boyfriends - as she calls them - at the park.
The first one went to get the other while we waited like 40 minutes for them to return.
She spent most of it walking around the park singing at the top of her lungs as if in a music video.
They played while I sat back, watching.
The two boys raced to the swings, leaving no spot for her.
She got a sad look on her face, so the older boy got off and gave her his swing.
She looked at me with a smile, went full feminine charm and said,
"Thanks. You're the best."
I love her so much, and wouldn't want to miss a moment.
I asked ChatGPT to summarize this weeks playlist:
Playlist: LISTEN HERE 🎵
Here's my "Day In The Life" visualization from last week's exercise.
June 13, 2026
STEP ONE: REFLECT
How has motherhood changed the way I see myself — and which parts of my identity have I disconnected from, silenced, or forgotten along the way?
answer :
Motherhood has changed the way I speak up for myself.
I remember living in an apartment with David for 6 months before we got married and moved into our first home. I can see myself standing in the hallway crying as he's about to leave for work at his parent's restaurant. I'm telling him I feel low on the list of priorities and naming all the things that seem to come before me. (I think I put myself at 4 or 5.)
He told me I was wrong, I am his number one priority.
I remember doing a "Start With Why" workshop where we had to dig deep with eachother and admit our true feelings outloud - I went with my sister. I don't re-call the question, but I can see myself crying, speaking the words "I just don't think I'll ever be good enough" while comparing cultural differences. I told myself for a long time that if given the choice, his mom probably would have chosen someone different for him.
Her and I struggled a lot when my daughter was born - we just do things differently.
I had to learn to embrace what she brings to the relationship and put myself in her shoes to understand her perspective/ life experience.
And she's had to adapt to respect mine.
It was the hardest when I felt I couldn't speak up, or was flat out ignored. I would go silent and angry. Family spoke about me that "I changed."
It hurt because I did change - I was a new mom, during covid, to a husband with an unknown illness that had him bed ridden. Everyone wanted to help but all I wanted was space to breathe.
Fast forward to today, I tell people exactly what I'm thinking.
And when I feel like I've fallen into a last priority - I make it known.
I stopped pretending I'm okay. Instead, I tell those around me clearly when I am not.
I recognized being angry was not the way to handle it - I think that's just what happens when we feel we have no voice.
I looked for clarity, understanding myself and the intentions of those around me. I started opening myself to seeing all situations from both sides of the story.
I found compassion, empathy, ability to relate and strength to stand up for what I need.
I didn't do it for me - I did it, because nothing has mattered more to me than being a good example for our daughter.
I didn't want her to be raised around broken relationships - I wanted every member of our family to bond with her in their own way. I wanted her to experience the differences in our homes - yet the feeling of wholeness when we all come together as one family.
And I wanted her to see parents who are happy, support and love each other.
I want to show her that it is good and okay to speak up when something doesn't feel right and to stay true to yourself until things genuinely improve/ feel better.
I didn't lose myself in motherhood.
I changed.
I grew up.
I stopped tolerating what I don't want.
I stopped speaking negatively to myself.
I started listening to myself, offering true understanding.
I started speaking with encouragement and deciding who I want to be in this life.
And honestly, as much as the day to day tasks can feel draining and repetitive - being a mom reminds me to live. It's my daughter that teaches, shows and heals me.
answer :
Over the years I've put a lot of thought into how to help others. I think I do show up for myself the same way I show up for others.
I know this journalling thing works, because I've been doing it consistently since I was 18 years old.
Before that, I talked to myself much differently than I spoke to others.
I would never name-call a friend. Yet I did it to myself daily.
I used to sit on the floor and cry while getting ready to go out to functions. I used harsh words like fat and ugly to describe myself. Comparing myself to others, pressuring change to be seen as good enough.
One time, I don't know how old I was, maybe pre-teen age. I remember being at Wal Mart with my mom. She walked past a mirror and said, "ugh I'm so fat."
She never used those words towards me, but it's how I heard her describe herself.
I shared that memory on a call, with the women's group I meet with bi-weekly. The question we asked was about how the language around you growing up, shaped your mentality and self-image. My mom was present during the call.
I don't blame her. Meanwhile she apologized through recognizing the impact.
She used to tell us, that if she could give my sister and I one thing, it would be self-confidence -- because she didn't have it.
Problem is, we learn not by what we're told, but what we watch.
That's why - I work so hard on how I treat and speak to myself.
Because if I want my daughter to be self-loving -
there is no choice but to lead by example.
I'm like, maybe that's what inspired my mirror branding.
My whole vibe is "self-reflection" so naturally, that includes the you, looking back in the mirror.
Which for many of us can be our worst enemy.
It's not until, you learn to see yourself differently - love yourself from the inside out -
that the mirror magically reflects differently.
________
I love mirror work - loving yourself in front of the mirror.
I told the group about it. Instructing them to consciously check themselves out, then give herself a compliment.
One of the girls tried it and noticed an immediate difference.
Through the process she learned that her son also struggles with his reflection.
Now, as an activity they do together - they BOTH look in the mirorr and tell themselves nice things.
________
My daughter and I like to show our outfits through the hallway reflection, like it's a catwalk.
She directs me how to walk and pose. Pushing me to always walk first, I'm told to turn around and go behind her. Then it's her turn to move forward. She gets close enough to stand face-to-face, showing herself confident looks while moving her body in various postures.
It's fun and we like it.
answer :
The only way to integrate the woman I am becoming into my real life, is to take new action aligned with her.
This woman: mother, wife, leader, friend...
how does she show up?
Do that.
How does she dress?
Wear that.
How does she speak and carry herself.
Mimic that.
What kind of energy/attitude and aura does she radiate?
Practice that.
And by doing so - my daughter will naturally follow the role model I want to be for her.
Most importantly - be present.
I try my best to show up in every moment as whatever is needed at that time.
Sometimes it's boundaries and direction.
Other times it's softness, compassion and a hug.
___
Earlier today she hit me with a toy.
I got mad immediately, telling her it hurt, we don't hit.
By the look on her face I saw in the same moment I spoke, that she truly didn't mean to.
She got real tears in her eyes as I pulled her towards me and told her it's okay.
She didn't mean to hurt me.
I told her I know that.
I told her I forgive her. And also - we don't hit.
She stayed in my arms for several minutes saying "I want mommy" as I rubbed her head and told her it's okay.
I love her so much. We're all just doing the best we can.
June 14, 2026
STEP TWO: CREATE
What moments with my children make me feel the most emotionally present, connected, alive, and like myself again?
answer :
It always helps to get out of the house.
When we're at home - I can't help but look around noticing all the things that "should" be done. My mind wants to distract me in any way possible.
Getting outside, switching the environment and going places together brings out an entirely different version of me.
Travelling is the best - I show up the most present on vacation.
I started asking myself how I could feel that way in everyday life.
"Closing the house" at the end of the day is helpful.
That means doing a quick clean before settling in for bedtime - floors swept, dishes washed, bathroom tidy and surfaces clear.
I hate the feeling of waking up to what looks like the morning after a house party.
I get instantly overwhelmed with an immediate list of all the things I need to do.
Families are messy - I accept that.
By taking the time to put the house back together at the end of the evening, I give myself the gift of a fresh start the next morning.
Little things like getting the coffee pot ready for yourself can make a big difference in the feeling of self-care.
Even after a long day when you don't feel like doing it - you'll thank yourself in the morning.
answer :
I enjoyed the baby stage and I'm loving her being a kid. I found the toddler years to be the hardest.
I have an expectation, she has an opinion.
She doesn't understand or care why I want her to wear the jacket or put her shoes on.
She just wants to take her time, run free and do whatever her heart desires.
I saw it as a communication problem - we just aren't always on the same page.
The first teaches you.
I think it will be a lot easier the second time around.
Not because I expect the next one to be any different.
But because I've changed. I understand now and I've learned to let go, trust the process and give the child space they need to be a kid.
It's been a lot of growing over the last 6 years (both her and I) and I'm proud of what we've become.
Find things in common. What do we both like to do?
If we want them to behave when we take them to the grocery store - it would be fair to do something they want to do in exchange.
If I want her to sit in the boring car and run errands with me - I can make it fun by letting her choose the music.
Maybe playing at the park isn't my thing - so we meet up with friends.
We both like to colour - during down time we distract our minds while talking about random ideas - forming a deeper bond.
I think that's a common issue in relationships. We expect the other to do the things we want to do, but how often do we do the things they want to do?
answer :
I would let go of the second guessing, pressures, fears, stress and distraction.
I would let her lead more.
I would show up present, patient, kind and playful.
I recognize that nothing lasts forever.
Stages of relationships change.
People change.
The toddler who wouldn't listen has grown into a kid with confidence. She's a good person with strong understanding, awareness to the world around her. She's empathetic, compassionate and sassy all at the same time.
One day she won't be calling "mommy" in the middle of the night asking to sleep in our bed.
She'll be out with friends, having sleepovers with girlfriends and eventually dating - at a job, maybe married with her own kids one day.
The time we have with them now is so precious.
Difficult at times, yes - but when we let every moment be what it is, find the lesson, beauty or humour in all of it - it can be so rewarding.
I read a poem one time written by an empty nester.
She talked about how clean, organized, quiet and perfect her house was.
Looking around the room - she missed the chaos, colours, toys, laughter, loud voices, messy kitchen and life that went on under the same roof years prior.
That always stood out to me - one day I'll miss it.
And time with my husband - we have the rest of our lives to be alone together. One day our kids will move out and it will be just us again.
Life is constantly changing.
Kids are the most amazing gift you will ever receive.
They remind you what life is supposed to feel like.
We, as adults - could be much happier if we let them show us the way, follow their lead sometimes.
I guess what I would start today is embrace the present moment, season of life, welcoming it and all that comes with.
Pause & Listen Exercise
Inner Dialogue in our moments of quiet.
The voice you listen to most will shape the way you move through your life.
When you never slow down long enough to hear what is happening inside your heart and mind, you can begin carrying thoughts, fears, and beliefs that were never meant to define you.
In the quiet, you have the opportunity to become aware of what has been weighing on you, what has wounded you, and what needs healing. Quiet moments are not empty moments — they are where clarity, peace, wisdom, and restoration begin to grow.
When you make space to listen gently and honestly to your inner dialogue, you create space to replace fear with truth, criticism with compassion; And transform self- doubt into self-belief.
What you say matters.
Listen to yourself.
Playlist: LISTEN HERE 🎵
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