Week 3 - Emotional Release
- May 20
- 10 min read
May 15 - first thing I have to do is make the playlist.
I'm fresh off my answers from week 2 and have been listening to "music that influenced me" for the last couple of hours. I think for this week I'll use the songs that caught my attention while playing it as background noise.
Here it is..
🎵 Playlist : LISTEN HERE
✍🏽👩🏽💻
May 18, 2026
STEP ONE: REFLECT
What emotions have I been trying to avoid, numb, minimize, or stay
“strong” through — and what might those emotions be trying to tell me?
answer :
I was doing laundry earlier, feeling the discomfort in my stomach and weight in my arms as I bent down to switch the load - it's getting harder and energy is fleeting being 7 months pregnant.
I started thinking to myself about how much I don't want to be doing it, how it feels like a never ending job and that I'd rather be outside with him, our daughter and the neighbourhood kids.
I visualized a helper for a minute, hiring someone who can take care of housework while I do other things - but then I redirected my thoughts to remind myself it's not that bad, pregnancy is almost over and I'd rather spend the money on other things.
Then I started thinking about our cottage (it currently has a long-term renter) and how if I had the extra money I'd much prefer to spend it there, taking back our weekend getaway. In that vision, the week of housework doesn't feel so daunting because I can see/feel the relief of family time.
While writing this, sitting outside on our patio because I chose to act on the call to go outside - David just asked if I wanted to meet up with friends for a walk around the lake. It's as if while typing, life manifested the exact thing I was asking for.
I met his suggestion with resistance - my first thought was no - mostly because I don't feel like socializing. As I'm typing this, my daughter (who's with her dad) has yelled "MOM," 3 times from the yard and I can feel myself annoyed. I get a lot of alone time. When I'm in it - I crave company. When I'm with company - I crave alone time.
It's an inner divide and I'm not sure where it's coming from.
Maybe, as a child my comfort was being on my own, in my imagination - so there is a part inside who feels most myself "on my own" where I can escape into a fantasy world.
As an adult, I know fantasy is nothing compared to the feelings of real life experience - but that requires action, moving out of your comfort zone and doing the thing the "other side of you" often doesn't want to.
The trick is to push through and do it anyways.
Over the last couple of years I've built the habit of saying,
"f*ck it"
and just do the thing I want to do.
answer :
I actually don't think I've had a problem expressing - the issue is more so that I gained my sense of belonging/connection through these low feeling emotions. The people around me had a tendency to see the negative in almost all situations, which trained me to see it too.
I remember a few years ago, around 2015 after I met my mentor and was introduced to the world of women's networking events, I found it very difficult to be around those closest to me.
It was like, I was spending time with these women who saw the best, while actively trying to upgrade my own mind and perspective to match. Which made the negative comments stand out in such a profound way it triggered me, reacting with defensiveness and constantly fighting them to see the other side.
I found it annoying and limiting, making me not want to be around them.
. . .
Instead of going to the lake we ended up meeting our friends at the movies. I haven't been feeling my best self today and was happy to zone out while eating snacks.
During the movie, something bothered me that took my attention, imagining how I was going to call it out, with an attempt to "correct" the behaviour of other.
I ran through the scenario of what I was going to say, justifying my own reasoning. As I thought about it, while feeling upset, a voice inside kept reminding me that it's really not a big deal. My thoughts shifted towards - is it worth making the other person feel bad over something so small?
After maybe 20 minutes of inner dialgoue, playing it out in my mind, I refocused my attention to the movie and ultimately decided not to say anything. I chose to see the bigger picture and let it go.
. . .
I've been a negative nancy all day in a debbie downer mood.
After putting our daughter to bed, I asked him what his schedule is like this week.
He has evening appointments most of the week, in a judgy voice I asked what he's gonna do when the baby comes.
He started opening up, telling me how he's been letting more go and is actually quite behind. Then he got up and went to his computer, preparing himself for a late night of catching up.
He was home all day today and has been making a lot of effort to be around lately.
My inner divide is that I know he needs me as his wife - he needs me to be okay at home with our kids and maintain that go-with-the-flow happy energy in our home that keeps us all going.
He takes care of so many responsibilities that I would never want to trade for - he handles the pressure extraordinarily better than me. Yet I'm stuck in my head complaining about dishes and laundry.
I always wanted to be a stay at home mom - he's providing that life for me, so why do I resist it?
I don't actually want the pressure of running my own business or keeping up with responsibilities outside the home - I used to dream about being on the PAC at my kids school.
It feels like two different directions and these are the ways I see them in my head:
My responsibility is the home - I spend my days keeping up with the house, taking care of myself and the baby. Well rested I spend evenings with our two daughters, cooking dinner, bath and bed routines then time with my husband when he gets home. I have time for myself during naps and extra hours to volunteer at the school.
I run my own therapy practice. After getting our daughter out the door for school, I have help come over to watch our youngest, while I work with clients. I use my income to pay a house cleaner, catch up on time with both daughters during the after school hours, make dinner or order take out depending on my energy level and hope my husband is home early enough to help with night routine.
I know there's a lot of space in between how those two scenarios can play out - and I also know there is a happy medium somewhere that I get it all.
The divide on my mind is where I put my priority.
If I choose career, once I open myself to clients and their life problems, there is a certain level of energy and attention that will be required from me.
To be honest, I've been telling myself I want that but I don't actually think I do.
Because to give my focus, time and energy in that direction, means I am taking from somewhere else.
So I'm telling myself I want something that I don't actually want to commit to, then judging myself to not acting on it.
I'm writing this at 10:03pm, but I know I already made the decision earlier today when I removed the option of 1:1 sessions from my website and wrote a self-hypnosis recording that says things like:
This is my life now.
I wake up feeling calm, grounded, and supported.
My body feels rested.
My mind feels clear.I place my hand on my belly and feel gratitude for my body, my baby, and this new chapter of my life.
I move through my mornings slowly and intentionally.
I drink water.
I nourish my body with foods that support me and my baby.
I stretch gently.
I listen to music that makes me feel peaceful, feminine, emotionally connected, and inspired.
My home feels calm.
I am no longer living in survival mode.
I move through life with presence and trust.
I trust myself.
I trust my body.
(ps I'm listening to this playlist while writing 🎵, to remove distraction and access the deeper thought.)
answer :
I think it's this divide inside that keeps us stuck - unhappy and unfilled following either option because it feels like they are in constant battle with each other.
Maybe the life we want comes from choosing a direction and sticking to it.
The thing is to move forward, the side that wants "the other option" needs to actually be on board. It needs to be in agreement with the direction you choose, and perceive a way to have its needs met at the same time.
My solution to this is the journal and digital workbook I created.
The reason I want to work with clients is not because I want to make money - my husband provides, shares his wealth and I have full-faith that he will always keep us going.
Our problems, in my opinion, arise when I start asking him to also take on my job. It's when I start pulling his focus, and frankly his self-esteem, by essentially saying what he's doing is not enough.
When I'm happy at home, he thrives in the world, conquers outward success and surprisingly ends up at home more often.
The reason I want to work with clients is not to make money - it's because I genuinely want to help.
I see a lot of issues happening in people's personal lives and desire to share the solutions which have helped me.
I want to help women feel good in the home, communicate their needs effectively with their partners and be the loving, patient, happy-hearted mom their kids need.
I know I have perspective that helps - which is why I feel responsibility to act on it.
I'm just terribly afraid of sacrificing being the loving, patient, happy-hearted mom my kids need in the process.
. . .
What am I suppressing?
I want and desire to be the wife he needs and the mom they deserve.
But I'm bored.
I need something exciting, for me.
STEP TWO: CREATE
What kinds of experiences, environments, relationships, and daily routines
naturally bring out the version of me that feels most peaceful, alive,
connected, and emotionally fulfilled?
answer :
I love women's networking events. It's a fun night out to mingle with like-minded others, feel inspired and a chance to share what you're up to with people who want to help.
I like hosting events - especially ones where my daughter gets to be a part of it.
Sound baths are one of my favourite things to do, I hadn't been to one in a while but went a couple days ago. My daughter loved the part where she got to share what she's grateful for and my sister is learning to play the bowls.
I like supporting others - through the experience of going through my workbook and journal, if participants would like one-on-one feedback I'll be happy to assist.
I enjoy our bi-weekly group calls - they keep us all connected, on track and it feels good to show up and hold space for the group.
My daughter started piano, likes going swimming and David plays on multiple sports teams - I like being available to cheer them on for those things.
Walking is where I zone out, use my imagination and get lost in music. I prefer outside in the sun but a session on the treadmill feels just as satisfying.
I enjoy taking the kids to the park - there's lots of them in our neighbourhood so they all play while I get to sit and relax.
Cooking dinner and feeding my family a meal they enjoy makes me feel good.
A organized, clean home makes my entire being relax and it feels purposeful to be the one who maintains it.
Girls nights with live music or a DJ is probably what makes me feel most alive.
Reading and writing keep me connected to me.
answer :
I choose familiar habits of thoughts and feelings telling me whatever I'm doing is not enough, instead of fully leaning into already being exactly enough.
Sometimes I guess I get distracted with wanting to "fix," that I forget things are already great as they are. I spent so many years focused on creating, often times I forget to enjoy.
I was choosing the comfort of being what I thought other people wanted to me to be, in an attempt to be accepted and liked, rather than choosing to be who I am/want to be.
answer :
I would stop telling myself what I should/want to be doing on a daily basis and just do it.
I would ditch the word "tomorrow" and act only in the now as if it is all that exists.
I'd stop internally complaining about my obligations and responsibilities, speaking of them only with gratitude that I have them. I am lucky to have a husband, family, home and life that wants and needs me. I have purpose as the one they rely on and it's a privilege to have the home be the only real job on my plate.
I would allow myself to be happy where I am and stop telling myself that I need to be doing more. In fact, I would take the focus entirely off doing and put it on being. When I follow my intuition and be who I am, moment to moment, my day naturally unfolds productively, easily, joyfully and to my highest good.
I wouldn't fear the future, rather put all of my energy towards enjoying the now.
I wouldn't change anything aside from allowing myself to embrace the life I've already created.
"Emotions are not only experienced mentally — they are also stored
physically within the body. When stress, overwhelm, frustration,
sadness, or emotional tension build up without release, they can leave
you feeling heavy, exhausted, irritable, or emotionally stuck.
Movement helps create emotional release. It does not have to be
intense or perfect. Sometimes healing looks like putting on music
while cleaning the house, going for a walk alone, stretching in silence
before bed, dancing in the kitchen with your children, organizing a
space that feels overwhelming, or simply stepping outside for fresh
air.
Small moments of movement can help your body process energy,
regulate emotions, and create space for clarity, calm, and
reconnection with yourself."
-From My Perspective Workbook
❤︎
🎵 Playlist : LISTEN HERE
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