Oops I said it again. 🫢
- Andrea Tsen
- 19 hours ago
- 11 min read
Updated: 11 hours ago
Playlist : Listen Here
. . .
I've been seeking validation and have been told for a long time that I shouldn't need it.
That's true, I shouldn't.
"When you know you are enough every around you knows it too."
So why is my own never enough?
This is controversial but f*ck it, I'm following the prostitute.
I saw Puff Daddy as a free spirit who doesn't give a ____ and was creating a revolution of the masses with music.
I was also happy for _____ when she left. Because I already assumed he didn't make the best partner.
I noticed she got pregnant right away and seemed genuinely happy in a "being herself" kind of way.
And I'm sure the new guy is a major reason she found her voice.
I was disappointed to see him in a new light and was like,
Oops, I followed the wrong leader.
Yet underlying there's a feeling I can't shake that I wasn't wrong and he will turn it around.
Because if anyone can do it, I think it's him.
Sean "Diddy" Combs delivered emotional remarks in court on Friday just before he was sentenced to more than four years in prison after being convicted of two prostitution-related counts. Following a lengthy series of statements from the defense on Friday, Combs let out a deep exhale as he rose from his seat to address the judge."I want to thank you for giving me the chance to speak up for myself," Combs said. "One of the hardest things I've had to handle is having to be quiet, not being able to express how sorry I am for my actions."
Combs first apologized to his ex-girlfriend Cassie Ventura, who was one of the key witnesses during his two-month trial.
"I want to personally apologize to Cassie Ventura for any harm that I've caused her, emotionally or physically. I don't take that lightly," Combs said.
He also apologized to another former girlfriend, who testified during the trial under the pseudonym, "Jane."
"I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm sorry I brought you into my mess," Combs said.
He then apologized to all victims of domestic violence who may have witnessed the 2016 hotel security camera video depicting him attacking Ventura."That video, that disgusting, despicable video, triggered a lot of people around the world," Combs said.
He added, "I don't care about the fame, or the money, or the records of performing. I feel like if your honor gives me a chance to share my story, this will have a positive impact ... at least I can help one person for not ending up like this."Choking up at one point, Combs told the judge he lost his freedom, his ability to care for his children and his mother and his self respect. "I've been humbled and broken to my core. I hate myself right now," Combs said. I've been stripped down to nothing. I really am truly sorry for all of it regardless of what they said. He turned to his family in the gallery and offered an individual apology to each of his seven children and then to his mother."You taught me better," Combs said through tears. "You raised me better."
My five year old old me recently
"Sorry won't take back that I said it"
and she's right.
Just like learning your lesson doesn't take back that you did it.
However,
when I zoom out..like far out...like out into the stars and I look down at the planet --- I see how many people are privately struggling with what Cassie went through in various forms.
Obviously he was not intending or expecting to get caught.
I also see how he monetized and created space for something that was being catered to the people. If the people weren't into it, it wouldn't exist.
His being "caught" drew attention to the subject.
In a way where his entire old identity was exposed and broken down to such a degree that he cannot go back to life the way it was - it will never be the same.
As the master of switching titles and identities - he's in the process of creating a new character, who hopefully emerges as the solution rather than the problem.
And because of his stardom, his case sparked attention and conversation from people all over the world, and should include more than just him but also the participants.
Also, it gave Cassie a voice.
As well as every woman who heard her story and saw themselves in her.
So as bad as it is, how do we change it without SOMEONE strong enough to take the fall, yet powerful enough to rise.
10/14/25
6:30pm
Sometimes, when I really need to cry...
I go to youtube and find inspiration.
Today I clicked on a video of a lady talking about the titanic, and somehow it led to the Oprah interview that did the job I was looking for.
Except, I didn't cry.
It wasn't sadness I was trying to direct : it was anger.
I'm good at talking about hard subjects, I love a healthy debate and I can see through multiple perspectives at once.
I know how to detach from judgement and listen human to human.
One complaint I've had against therapy is the idea of talking without resolution.
Thing is,
to find the solution, you have to look at the problem.
Do not dwell on the problem, but become aware of the problem.
That's how you get a target.
What problem do you want to solve?
I think self-reflection is important, asking ourselves:
How am I contributing to the problem, in ways I may not even realize?
As little girls, most of us grew up dreaming of men as our heroes.
Then, one day, for many women, a man used his body as a weapon.
And she realized he is not the one to save her, but the one she needed to be saved from.
In general, I don't think people, at our core, want to cause pain to others, that's why we avoid confronting ourselves.
It's because we care.
And it hurts to sit in our own consequence of how our actions have impacted others.
But caring and doing nothing about it will not solve the problem.
step one: FIND A ROLE MODEL.
My grade 3 teacher spent a month teaching us about black history, and the movement led by Mr King Jr. We listened, learned, studied, watched videos and made projects.
I didn't have an image of God in my head.
So I placed Martin Luther King Jr as the lead male perspective.
I needed someone to look up to.
"𝗧𝗼𝗱𝗮𝘆 𝗶𝗻 𝗵𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗿𝘆: Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., is awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for his nonviolent resistance to racial prejudice in America. At 35 years of age, the Georgia-born minister was the youngest person ever to receive the award"
🙋🏽♀️ I know he inspired me because the next year, grade 4, I was given recognition at the school assembly for
Keeping peace on the playground.
That actually makes me really proud.
step two: LEARN HOW YOUR MIND WORKS.
What is the difference between FANTASY LAND and IMAGINATION LAND?
🙋🏽♀️ I see inside our minds like an amusement park, a place where you can walk through various mini worlds.
When I think of Imagination, it feels bright. Like light and love.
Fantasy Land to me would have a dark theme - not spooky, just could be dangerous.
I was like, if I was actually gonna do it, I would do it with _________________.
He's like no you wouldn't.
I said, I think I would.
He told me, "You might think that but I know you. You always go with your heart."
Fantasy to me is playing with ideas, but it's not serious.
For example :
She doesn't actually want it to happen. She wants the feeling of freedom, being taken care of, a break from others so she can give the energy back to herself.
Remember, thoughts have no power over you unless you let them.
If you notice thoughts wandering into a dark zone, it's time to self-check.
Ask yourself, is this fantasy or imagination?
In order words, do you actually want the visual to manifest?
If the answer is no, what part of it is making you feel good?
What need is being met while in this fantasy?
Ask yourself, how can I meet this need in the light?
✍🏽
Only then can we move to IMAGINATION LAND;
which is creating pictures in our mind that we want to see manifest into our daily lives.
step three: MAKE YOURSELF SOME FRIENDS.
To bond with ANYONE :
With every person you know or meet, search for one common subject you can positively talk about.
What's one thing you can relate on, speak your thoughts, hold a conversation, build a connection through?
My husband has a lot of hobbies.
I started asking myself, what I like to do, what do I enjoy?
What can I talk about passionately that comes out in a burst of energy with all the good feelings?
What subjects make me think?
What have I always wanted to do?
What did I do as a kid that made me happy?
(I spent most of my time playing BARBIES, DANCING or RESTING with music in my bedroom)
With a child, find something you can do with them that you genuinely enjoy.
One thing.
All it takes is one commonality that serves you both.
Meaning the act of you doing this brings joyful feelings to both participants in some way, shape or form.
"It doesn't have to be perfect"
that's a hard one for me.
Kids tell the truth, they don't hold back.
But they will often only say it once - so make sure you are listening.
It's our job to listen, take the feedback, and learn from them.
Telling your child you love them is just words.
You have to show them.
All that means is: showing interest in them. Participate in things they want to do and set aside time to get to know them.
When you say it out loud it loses its power over you.
I learned that when I admitted the eating disorder to myself.
Then wrote a letter that I sealed in an envelope and handed to my mom and boyfriend, explaining the story that was happening inside.
They didn't see me the way I was perceiving myself, they had their own point of view.
step four: SELF-SOLVE THE PROBLEM BEFORE IT STARTS.
Become your own source of happiness by understanding your own needs, therefore knowing what to ask for.
I think, it doesn't matter who the relationship is with, if the communication sucks, it's not gonna work.
the most important thing you could ever learn is:
Whatever I say about you, is what I'm actually thinking about me.
Our relationships with others, are mirrors bouncing reflections off each other.
My mentor taught me,
it doesn't matter what you think of me,
it matters what I think you think about me.
✍🏽 I think as humans, we want attention.
But, I don't actually really like having eyes on me in person.
It makes me uncomfortable.
In grade 11, I started walking home every day after school.
I wanted the 45 minutes to myself with my music. 🎵
I remember feeling awkward crossing main roads, or passing construction workers who make comments. The headphones let me pretend I didn't hear them. 🎧
I got so comfortable with Chris Brown's voice that it became soothing.
And he almost started to feel like a friend.
I liked the perspective and in my imagination, started forming images of relationships in my head.
That same year, I ran into David at a school dance.
He asked me to dance, I said I'd be back.
About 3 months after that, he asked me to be his girlfriend
and he's still my best friend.
Ask yourself, what am I contributing to my partners life?
What makes me a great choice?
Learn to like yourself, power up your strengths, then tell him what you want.
Men follow direction, they like it straight to the point (I think girl language confuses them) and I believe they want to please.
It's noticeable in children that boys can be more sensitive.
They like positive reinforcement and do well with rewards.
Imagine a world where girls were raised that they are the prize.
Imagine from the start she knew, she is the one choosing him.
Having sex doesn't make them love you.
And if we know
Deep down, all of us want to love and be loved.
I think the best thing any of us can do is to become someone who is lovable to ourselves.
"Tell me what you want, and I'll direct you how to get it."
Upgrade your Self Image
Think about childhood, what did you enjoy?
Here's the thing.. it's not so much about creating someone new.
I'm not trying to change you or myself.
I am calling FORWARD the you who's already inside.
Update the way you see yourself.
I support equal rights for women, but I don't typically resonate with the word "feminist"
I identify more with Women's Empowerment.
Which is: The process of becoming stronger and more confident, especially in controlling one's life and claiming one's rights.
In my belief,
The mind is masculine, and the heart is feminine.
Meaning we both have both.
That's not about gender or sexual orientation - it's energy.
I didn't know I was creative.
I didn't know how much music had influenced me, or how deeply I was listening.
I didn't see my emotional strength or perseverance
I didn't know a lot of good things about myself.
I found myself in the dark.
Fantasy land, the dark, is often the sides of ourselves we are afraid to admit out loud.
Saying it out loud, hearing our own thoughts back to ourselves, is how we bring it to the light.
AI Overview
Jordan Peterson's parenting advice emphasizes the importance of preparing children for the real world by teaching them social acceptability and competence, rather than prioritizing safety at all costs. Key principles include addressing misbehavior that makes a child unlikeable, which he sees as the most common parenting mistake, and for parents to serve as a "proxy for the real world" by setting clear boundaries and discipline. He also highlights the complementary roles of parents: the mother provides security and appreciation, while the father encourages exploration and pushing boundaries through play.
Key parenting principles
Address disliked behaviors:A parent's primary job is to ensure their child is socially acceptable, and they should not allow behavior that makes the child (or others) dislike them.
Be a proxy for the real world:Children need to be taught how to function in society.Leaving them without discipline means they won't be equipped to handle the real world and may be rejected by peers.
Create competence and courage:Parents should choose to raise competent and courageous children, which requires them to push their children out of their comfort zones, rather than making safety the ultimate goal.
Support exploration and security:The mother's role is to provide a secure base, while the father's role is to encourage exploration. Both roles are vital for a child's development.
Encourage social intelligence:Instill social graces and manners so children can have positive interactions with others, which opens up opportunities for them.
Specific advice
Manners and social skills:Discipline children so they understand how to behave appropriately in various settings, such as a restaurant.
Rough and tumble play:Encourage fathers to engage in this type of play to help children learn about challenging discomfort versus actual pain.
Don't let the early years pass you by:Peterson stresses that the time with young children is fleeting and should not be missed.
Focus on physical health:He suggests that a family diet low in processed foods, grains, and sugar can improve physical and mental health.
Truthfulness:Encourage truthfulness as a long-term strategy, even when it's difficult, because acting against your own truth can be "soul-crushing".
I heard that,
"don't let your kid be someone you don't like."
What's my point?
The time is now that we are learning, as a people, to use our God Given Ability called imagination to influence our real world.
For example:
Anxiety is a build up of energy mixed with images you don't want.
and
Depression is stuck energy festering in your body, mixed with images you don't want.
Arousal could be described as a build up of energy mixed with images you do want.
and
Creativity is like free flowing energy with images you do want.
Simply put,
You are in charge of your thoughts, words and actions.
Those are your choices, and will create the reality you call your life.
Remember,
If you hang out with negative people, you have more access to negative thoughts.
If you hang out with positive people, you have more access to positive thoughts.
This entire post may not have made sense to anyone but myself.
It's just, I hear common themes and desires as the source of pain and I think we leave, hurt or damage good relationships and people, because we didn't understand how to navigate our own thoughts.
I believe, if we focused our attention on being the most healed, loving and lovable version of ourselves, we could co-exist in harmony and avoid causing each other so much pain.
Always communicate.
It's not typically the action that causes the scar, it's the secrecy.
🙏🏽
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