Legacy
- 5 days ago
- 20 min read
Updated: 3 days ago
02/19/26
When our daughter was two and a half we signed her up for soccer.
She walked off the field second class in and wouldn't go back.
Dance class went the same.
A year later she whined her way through swimming lessons, barely doing the practice.
Instead, she learned to swim in the pool at our cottage, self-taught with her dad and aunt.
I never forced her to finish, because it wasn't her choice to start, it was ours.
David's been asking her for months if she wants to take singing classes, which she has consistently said yes, as it's one of her favourite things to do.
Today, we went to an old friend's (customer from the restaurant we built a relationship with) studio where he teaches along with his team of seven others and over 200 students.
He's in a heavy metal band, has a positive attitude and quick jokes. I'm really happy for him. His studio *which his wife designed - is awesome.
Several years ago she invited us to her birthday that she hosted here. We arrived at night, in the dark, for a private tour of the building (she worked there) and then watched a scary movie in a creepy room.
It was the coolest birthday party I've been to and was honoured to be included in the small group.
I like seeing people like them succeed.
I'm excited because I get to start spending once a week in his studio.
I told the owner how happy/proud I was for him to have created a profitable business in an almost impossible to make money industry. We talked about how little online streams pay, the fact that it costs more out of pocket to do a show than you receive, and how even the big guys get crumbs.
To make it, you gotta know business.
Which means anyone who is profiting, living off their career in music, is a rare gem, who likely has just as good a head on their shoulders as they do musical talent.
Even the Backstreet Boys didn't make the money we think - they did it for the love and passion without even realizing their manager was raking in the millions.
I see to make it long term you have to become a leader, discover talent and guide others, think producers like Dr Dre.
To be fair, to make it long term in any industry is the transition from solo success to leadership.
Which is a subject I am passionate about. :)
02/20/26
restarting : today.
. . .
“Decide what you want. Write it down. Make it happen.”
— Bob Proctor
. . .
Question:
What would you do with a million dollars?
>> a lot of people want it - but they can't actually tell you what they would do with it.
Imagine your bank account refreshed every day with $100,000 - what would you do with it?
What would you spend it on? How would your day look, who would you spend it with? Where would you go, shop, what kind of lifestyle changes and brand upgrades would you make?
What would you pursue, let go of, quit, start?
Once you've filled your own cup, where would you contribute, who/what would you use it for to help?
Would you move? How much would your new rent cost?
Would you buy a new car? What would you drive and how much is it?
Would you eat, dress and take care of yourself differently?
Would you travel? Where would you go, what kind of accommodations would you book, do you drive, fly, cruise?
Imagine your funds are limitless, you can do whatever you want without restriction, you are free to follow your passions and live the life you want --- what would that look like to you?
"When another person sees potential in you—especially at a time when you’re struggling to see it in yourself—it can be the bridge between where you are and where you want to be. Their belief fuels your own. It empowers you to act, embrace uncertainty, and overcome self-doubt."
-Bob Proctor
. . .
STEP TWO: Create
Playlist : Listen Here. 🎧🎵
CREATING YOUR DESIRE
-Bob Proctor Legacy Program
Reflect on your core values.
Envision your future self.
Identify the motivation behind desire.
Which desire is most important to you?
Get emotionally involved.
Whyyyyyy do you want it?
Helpful hints for the true motivator behind your desire:
*Tony Robbins 6 human needs:
1. Certainty/Comfort
The need for safety, stability, security, and predictability to avoid pain and create comfort.
2. Uncertainty/Variety
The need for change, challenges, and new stimuli to prevent boredom and feel alive.
3. Significance
The need to feel important, unique, special, needed, or worthy of recognition.
4. Connection/Love
The need for a strong feeling of closeness, intimacy, and belonging with people or something.
5. Growth
The need for constant development—intellectually, emotionally, or spiritually.
6. Contribution
The need to go beyond oneself, helping, serving, and supporting others.
What do I want?
What do I do for certainty?
What do I do for variety?
How does my desire produce both certainty and uncertainty?
What makes me feel significant? (Sometimes we place this on approval from another.)
What are my consistent emotions?
Where, from who or what, do I receive connection?
What/who makes me feel loved - who do I love?
What do I do regularly that brings me growth?
What makes me feel alive?
How do I believe I can contribute to others?
Where/who/what do I compare myself to most?
What do I think is my current order of needs?
Looking at my values, how do they meet my needs?
What is my number one need?
What do I want?
(🙋🏽♀️ Example)
What do I do for certainty?
Currently I rely on David for certainty. He has taken care of me since I was 16 years old. It would be an easy life for me to ride along for the rest of our lives. I know he will always make sure I am safe. I just don’t want to. When he got sick in 2020 was the first time I realized our relationship is not certain. I believe that we will continue to choose each other for the rest of our lives - we simply do not know how long those lives will be.
I got scared that if anything happened to him, I would be distraught and heartbroken, with all the same fears I have now amplified. How would I parent then? Where would I start to rebuild? Would I find another man to rely on or would I go for my own career? How much would that take me away from the family I am used to being home with and what would our new lives look like?
I realized, if I start the career now, conquer my fears while I “don’t have to” I can do it with ease and be gentle on myself. I can find joy, do it for the love and passion rather than fear and necessity. That would give me certainty that no matter what happens in my marriage - I will be okay. If I already have a career and income, my family is used to me taking on projects outside of the home, the transition would be so much easier to manage.
I very much do not want the worst case scenario - I just would rather be prepared for the uncertainty of life by being certain that I can depend on myself.
What do I do for variety?
Right now I’m not sure I have a lot of variety in my day to day, I think I’m a little bit stuck in habits whether I like them or not.
I loooove making new playlists and I switch around music often which helps to bring variety to my vibration. Also David challenges me to push out of my comfort zone by trying new things. We’ve done a decent amount of travelling recently and stay in hotels quite often. I like being pulled out of my daily energy and placed in a new environment, like staying in a downtown Vancouver hotel or lake side at Harrison Hot Springs - it helps to keep the vibe fresh and get out anytime I’m feeling stuck.
How does my desire produce both certainty and uncertainty?
The desire of actively practicing Therapy with clients produces certainty because the steps are the same for every session, so I can work towards mastering my craft. It brings uncertainty because every client is different, so navigating what comes through in the session and hearing their stories will always be different and unique.
What makes me feel significant? (Sometimes we place this on approval from another.)
When I feel seen - I like it when David gives me a compliment or looks at me in ways that show he’s attracted to me. I feel grateful to be in a relationship with someone who still desires me the same way they always have. When I look good I feel good and I like being told. David’s approval is big for me and I like it when he’s proud of me. He’s great at holding my hand and introducing me while he networks around a room and it makes me feel seen, important and valued. He always thanks me when I clean the house and he appreciates even the simplest of dinners made for him. He is encouraging when getting me to try new things that scare me, helps me push through and I can hear the pride in his voice when I do it and usually enjoy it.
Helping others makes me feel significant - when my perspective, approval or belief in others brings change in them for the better, it makes me feel good about myself - justifying that being who I am is valuable.
What are my consistent emotions?
I feel pretty half and half. I am a happy and vibrant person who smiles at anyone who walks by. I’m willing to listen and love giving compliments that make others feel good. I can add joy to things like housecleaning by adding music and overall give myself good feelings.
I can also swing to the other side and get hard on myself, stuck on the couch unmotivated and confused wondering what to do next. It’s like, I’m thinking about how to get myself back to my “high” but I can’t see the way out - it causes me to start looking at all the things I don’t want and it can take a few days to come back. However, I always bounce back.
Where, from who or what, do I receive connection?
David, I feel a sense of relief when he comes home, I love hearing about his day and he asks/listens to mine.
Kaia, she’s so fun, light hearted and funny. She has so much energy with constant ideas to play. I’m getting better at finding joy in the moment versus looking around at things I need to do. I love being a mom.
Writing, it makes me feel connected to myself and higher self.
Music makes me feel connected to others.
Walking outside makes me feel connected to nature.
Friends bring fun, help to let things go, spark laughter, reassurance, validation, relatability and remind me that I love being a girl.
What/who do I tell myself is stopping me from going after what I want?
What do I see in others that I want, that I'm telling myself I can't have?
In what ways am I telling myself I got "lucky" and how can I see that I created the result myself?
Higher faculties - how am I currently practicing each of the following:
The Six Higher Faculties According to Bob Proctor:
Imagination: The ability to see what does not yet exist in reality. It is the creative workshop of the mind used to form images of desired outcomes.
Will: The power of focus and concentration. It allows you to hold a specific idea in your mind, disregarding distractions or negative circumstances.
Perception: The capacity to change your point of view. It is looking at the same situation from a different angle to find opportunities.
Intuition: The ability to tune into vibrations and pick up on information from your environment, acting as a "gut feeling" to guide decisions.
Reason: The capability to think and evaluate information. It allows you to choose your thoughts rather than just reacting to circumstances.
Memory: The ability to recall past experiences and information, which can be strengthened and used to fuel creative thinking.
Perception:
Will:
Imagination:
Memory:
Intuition:
Reason:
What is in my current reality - thoughts, feelings, habits, circumstances - that I DON'T want?
What is in my ideal reality - thoughts, feelings, habits, circumstances - that I DO want to create?
How am I currently practicing my higher faculties?
(🙋🏽♀️ Example)
Perception:
I use my journal to vent out how I am seeing things, so I can shift the perception towards a lesson, then change the direction of thought to how it's actually helping or redirecting me. I then build a new positive story that turns the experience into somthing that is actually working in my favour. I see the good when I look for the good.
Will:
I take time to answer self-reflection questions so that I am clear on what I want and believe, before taking action. I don't respond to things right away unless it feels in alignment with what I know to be true for myself. If something feels out of alignment, I take time to understand before showing up with words and actions.
Imagination:
I love using my imagination and find it is the most active while listening to music when I can zone out and let the image form. My favourite way to do this is walking, especially outside. When I feel unmotivated, bored or without direction, I can lay in silence and form daydreams. Sometimes they are to see myself in the place I want to be - for example sitting in the rocking chair of a fully furnished nursery while calmly and joyfully rocking a baby in my arms.
Other times I play in fantasy land with ideas I'm not necessarily aiming to make real, they just feel fun or satisfying to experience in my mind. With this practice I look for the feeeelings the fantasy is giving me and translate that into what I actually do want to make real.
Memory:
Again my journal is a helpful tool to write out stories I am telling myself through memory. Memories are stored from the perspective of the age you were when they happend. When discussing a memory with others who were there, a lot of times we describe them differently because we recollect from different points of view. When I write out memory, looking at it now from my adult perspective, I can see where I may be telling myself I did something bad/wrong when maybe it wasn't me at all. I can also see where I haven't been taking ownership in situations where I thought I was in the right but wasn't seeing the full picture or the other's perspective.
I rely on music to bring back memories through listening to songs of past decades - it's, in my opinion, the quickest way to take you there.
Intuition:
The more self aware I am to my own true thoughts and feelings, the easier it is to atune myself to others. I often play little games with myself, acting on intuitive impulses then seeing how it turns out, I do this to check in and analyze whether or not I am truly tapped in. I can act with confidence when the impulses are aligned with what I already asked/prayed for.
I also quiet my mind as often as possible to reset my own thinking and allow higher thought to come through.
Reason:
I think this becomes easier when you've taken the time to know clearly what it is you believe and want. I simply go easy on myself before taking action and weigh out both sides of how it could go. I look at worst case scenario to judge if I'm willing to accept the risk.
02/25/26
My cousin and I have a women's group that we gather bi-weekly through zoom.
It started with a lunch when David and I went to visit Calgary and met up with family. Her and I realized how much our goals aligned and started doing weekly video calls. She also let me do a Hypnotherapy session on her where we got to connect on a deeper level.
Last summer we held a retreat at a cottage and have continued to stay connected with the women who joined us. Recently we've added new members and came up with more structure for our calls.
This week, we've been meeting with each of the members individually to check in with where they are at, hear their goals and talk about how this group can benefit them over the following 12 months. We're teaching them to take an honest look at their lives, decipher through what is showing up that they don't want and decide what they do want. We have weeks focused on the inner child and we're ending the year with concrete goals and actionable steps so they can rebuild trust with themselves and their visions. While being part of a support group keeps you going, it's important to hold yourself accountable.
I'm really excited and can't wait to see where the next year takes us. I've been extra intentional with my own vision, where I want to be a year from now, focused on de-cluttering to remove distractions of what I don't want.
In our meeting last night, we talked to a woman who works in health care and wants to pivot out of a toxic environment to a more preventative approach in healing.
She's miserable with her day to day and ready for change.
Coincidentally, I also met a friend for lunch yesterday who's in the same boat. She had a mental break down and had to go on leave to get a break. She could see her own behaviours and reactions, hating herself while incapable of doing something different.
Through taking time away from the circumstance most affecting her, she calmed her nervous system, spent quality time with her daughter and applied to a new job which feels easy and natural to her, plus pays more.
I think when you ask for something different and then put off taking the action - Life makes the circumstances worse until you can't handle it anymore and are forced to change.
I saw it that way when David lost his ability to walk. He was so caught up in the day to day, not taking the time to reflect after such a big life change such as having our daughter. I think life temporarily paused the usage of his legs, forcing him to stay still and re-focus where he wanted to go next. It sucks when you're in it and hard to understand at the time - but I truly believe life is always working in our favour.
When I was around 18 years old I thought about going on anti-depressants. I was really harsh on myself and couldn't see many things that I liked, if any. I was angry, pushed people away and tried to control how I saw myself through diet restriction and over exercising. (That's why I don't go to the gym. As much as I've grown there's a part of me that's afraid to go back there.)
The people around me were on medication and if you look at it genetically, it seemed as if I should follow the crowd. But I didn't. Instead, I picked up a journal and started writing.
I never tried pills because it didn't feel right.
I remember listening to my mom complain about her weight and I made a decision that I would not be her age and still criticizing myself. I knew instinctively that I had to figure out where it was coming from, and who better to ask than yourself?
I told myself that David could do better and compared culturally that his mom would be happier if he ended up with someone more like her. She'd never given me a reason to believe that, even gave me a job at her restaurant and paid me well. I just used it as an excuse to back up the belief that I'm not good enough.
I acted like a b*tch every day to David and then broke up with him.
He showed up daily at my mom's daycare and took my sister for dessert, asking them what was going on and what he could do.
It lasted about a week and I was miserable, the lowest I've ever been. I tried to hang out with friends but I had no interested in anything except being sad.
We started going for walks, talking. He let me tell him all of the crazy things happening in my head and he loved me through all of it. I couldn't understand why he would still want me after I'd been so rude to him, like my problems were his fault.
I think when we don't love ourselves, when we finally do receive love, we challenge it because it's uncomfortable and unfamiliar. I think we push people away to unconsciously test if they'll stay.
He did stay - and our relationship changed after that. I committed myself to him in a completely new way.
For years we never fought because I never ruffled feathers. I let him take the lead, said yes to whatever he wanted and molded myself into being his supportive partner.
It wasn't until 12 years in, when we had a child, that conflict started to arise.
Everything came to the surface and I spoke up about all of it. I saw that I'd been hiding and knew I was unhappy - I didn't bring it up to cause a fight or end our relationship - it came out so it could heal.
It's like, anything I was accepting but not truly happy with - had to be transformed for us to move into the next stage of our lives. And as you're looking at it - it feels very difficult as you are clouded with a perspective of "what's going wrong."
Luckily, we have solid communication skills that allowed us to naviagate without breaking us apart. I can't say the same for other couples who've been through similar growth phases.
You gotta remember it's growth, don't forget your history and be careful not to take any actions you can't take back.
There are lines you can't turn around from and when in those phases (because they happen to all of us) I think it's incredibly important to stay present, conscious and focused on the end goal.
At sixteen years old we set two rules in our relationship.
No swear words during an argument. I know I'll shut down and pull away plus the use of harsh language escalates a conversation into a fight.
No leaving angry. You can go to bed angry, sometimes the problem needs to be slept on - but no leaving. There have been two times in our 18 years together that he sat on the edge of the bed late at night, silently thinking of whether he should go to his parent's house. I gently reminded him on both occasions he would be breaking the rule. By choosing not to leave, we minimized the fear as we now know we've both already chosen to stay. On both occasions we kept talking until we closed the conversation with the next form of connection.
This doesn't mean the problem is solved, but it prevents the anger from being carried over to the next day. You can continue talking about it but the point is to move through various phases of communication until you both feel seen, heard, validated and can get to a moving forward state of mind.
I never wanted to go on antidepressants because I didn't want to identify with the label. I also didn't want to supress my emotions. Yes, it numbs the difficult feelings, but it also prevents you from accessing the highs.
Going years without an argument gave me a sense of pride, but through conflict I learned that it's actually the going through it that brings depth to the relationship.
I'm actually glad when he cares enough to get upset. I get sad when he's not around because I actually like him that much. Passion in anger, when positively re-channelled, shows up in ways that can bring a lot of pleasure.
Heartbreak, when processed, can lead to self love.
Feelings are not bad or wrong. They are communication of what's going on inside and pointers towards where we want and don't want to go.
They are our navigating system and by suppressing them to avoid hard feelings or conflict, we lose touch with our own sense of direction.
I know so many people who hate their jobs, are unhappy in their relationships, stuck in habits they don't like or living in situations that don't bring them freedom and joy.
They blame their pills for not working, change the meds or up the dose.
When they tell me these things, all I can think is how, if you changed the circumstance that's making you unhappy, I betcha you won't need the pills.
It doesn't mean that it's easy - but it is in your control.
And once you start allowing feelings back in -- you get to experience the good ones too.
The worst thing you can do is tell yourself that you are out of control to your life circumstances. It's the biggest lie. You may have created something you don't like/want -- but there's a part of you that created it for a reason. The only way to truly change it is to admit that you got yourself here in the first place.
From there, you are empowered to get yourself out of it.
When people join a group, they generally want the same things - to be part of a community where they feel seen, heard and a sense of support.
My mentor told us on the last group call that he's learned with women, the best thing you can do is shut up and listen - don't try to solve her problem because she's not looking for a solution.
She wants to explain outloud what's going on for her, so she can feel seen and heard while listening to herself talk. Through that talking, she's leading herself to her own solution.
And likely the quieter you are, the more she wants to reward you for listening.
We don't need to fix each other, it's about being someone who cares and is willing to show up. That gives us all the strength we need to continue forward on our own journeys.
I recognize the power of words, so I don't always want to speak out loud until I've dialled them in to a place of my own clarity - that is why I use a journal.
I write my thoughts, to myself, getting through as much as I can on my own.
Then, I speak them out loud as the final piece where I feel seen, validated and it all begins to make sense. The clouds part and a new direction forms with the first step as a hit of intuition that feels like an impulse to act.
Once you start moving, the next step comes, and the next and the next and it continues as long as you keep going.
When you have an idea of where you are going, the destination you want to end up in, it makes it easier to see when you should make a move and when it's best to stay still.
It's not so much about what you do but the alignment of energy you are in when you do it - that will cause either a wanted or unwanted effect.
I believe that as children we all have a natural ability to dream, access our imagination and create visions where the thought alone brings us joy.
At some point, most of us got our feelings hurt and were in some way, shape or form led to believe that what we wanted was not realistic for us. We gave up on ourselves.
For many, it's easier to believe in someone else and their dream, than it is to fully invest in your own. Because it's safer. If I support you and it doesn't work out - I can handle that. If I go all in on myself and it doesn't work out - I don't know what I would do.
Every time we set a goal, tell ourselves we're going to do something, and then we don't, we lose trust with ourselves. We don't even bother dreaming the full dream anymore because we "know ourselves" and don't believe that we'll actually make it happen.
Buuuuuuut what if that's changeable?
What if rejection builds desire, resiliency and gets you ready to hold the thing you want the most?
What if the dream is ready and available, waiting for you to do your part - which is simply to show up. To put a little thought towards it and then take action, slowly, one step at a time.
If you do something different every day for the next 365 days - I guarantee a year from now you will be in a different position - and much closer to the things you said you want.
I'm in an online program called Bob Proctor Legacy
I started and then stopped because I wanted to be crystal clear on my vision. I've spent the last few months deciding what I actually want, what will bring me joy, make me the best version of myself and create a life I am proud of.
Most people's problem is not that they can't or are incapable, it's because they don't have vision of what they want.
Also people need as much positivity as they can get. Showing up as someone who can be relied on regularly with authenticity, speak their truth and produce good feelings - becomes an important part of people's lives.
That's why I think musicians have such a cool talent and ability to bring real change to people. I like that social media can connect us in a ways that remind, no matter where you are in the journey, we're all going through it.
Where are you at in your journey?
Do you know what you want?
Do you believe in your ability to make it happen?
Where do you want to be a year from now?
What is one part of your life that if the circumstances changed, you would feel like a whole new person?
What do you need?
What would help you the most to achieve the things you want?
Do you believe in yourself?
Do you know anyone else who believes in you?
Who have you been surrounding yourself with - what do their lives look like? Do they speak the language and have the results you want?
How does being around these people make you feel?
What kinds of relationships do you want to surround yourself with that would help to get you where you want to be?
What do youuuuuuuuuuu want?
🙏🏽
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