Addicted To Youuu
- Andrea Tsen
- 2 days ago
- 9 min read
Updated: 1 day ago
What is an addict?
"If you say that someone is an addict, you mean that they like a particular activity very much and spend as much time doing it as they can." - collinsdictionary.com
From my perspective
A want is something we're telling ourselves (meaning in the mind) that we need.
A desire is something we feel in our hearts that we don't want to live without.
Connecting to your intuition is how we learn the difference. It's like learning a new language which takes time, patience, presence and commitment. It's a commitment to yourself, and that commitment is, to listen and follow your heart, which are the desires calling you forward.
Years ago, I told myself God was in charge of my playlist.🎵
I started paying attention to the music I was being attracted to and listened as if the song were being spoken directly to me.
With practice, music began replacing my negative thoughts.
I see now how much music has always influenced, formed and created the personality I call myself, long before I was conscious about it.
I believe
We match to the people and circumstances we think we deserve.
True healing is simply to experience the opposite.
We experience trust, safety and all the good feelings with each other by first building trust with ourselves.
How I see our
THREE PERSPECTIVES WITHIN
Inner Child - the original programming. Lives in the heart. Whoever and whatever you were taught/told you should be, have to be, could be, etc. It's basically the voice and instruction of your upbringing, who still talks to you. For those who grew up in homes where attention was given to what was "wrong" more often than what was "right," often have an inner child who thinks they are bad/wrong/doesn't know what's wrong with them/tells themselves they aren't good enough.
Inner Teen - our inner rebellion. Lives in the mind. This is the version inside who stopped caring what anyone else thinks and now wants to experience everything they were told not to. It's like, if the inner child is sadness, the inner teen is anger. Anger will always try to protect sadness. Because it's our own inner masculine (the mind) protecting our inner feminine (the heart). This is the version of us that acts impulsively and on the defence. They don't mean harm, they simply didn't have the proper leadership to handle their emotions.
Adult - that's you - Supposed to be the conscious one. In an ideal world, children are shown unconditional love through their childhood, leadership in adolescence and are therefore able to offer themselves and others loving support throughout adulthood.
>> In history, people lived in groups, tribes, communities. Everyone helped each other and shared responsibilities. Children were born into the group as "our child," not the "my child" that we hear today. Mom's could offer more to her children, because someone else helped her with the care-taking. Father's could focus on their work because there were other people around to help his family in his absence.
. . .
I think, when we come from homes where Dad figure was mentally, physically, and/or emotionally absent - we grow up with no model in that role. So we look out at the world around us and paint a picture of what we think will fill in all the details of what we want, to experience the feelings of trust, safety and respect that are meant to be shown through him.
But how do you know how something feels if you've never felt it?
. . .
🎵 Playlist : Listen Here
STEP ONE : Reflect
Listen to your inner world
🎧🎵 + ✍🏽
STEP TWO : Create.
Let your thoughts wander into the world of: WHAT I DO WANT.
STEP THREE: Install
This one is about daily habits.
Let's start with the 12 steps. ☺️
Step 1: Accept the reality
Step 2: Have faith in a higher power
Step 3: Submit to the higher power
Step 4: Embark on some soul-searching
Step 5: Admit your failings
Step 6: Be ready to let go
Step 7: Show humility
Step 8: Show willingness to make amends
Step 9: Begin to make amends
Step 10: Check in with your progress
Step 11: Discover your plan and purpose
Step 12: Share the message
From my perspective
Accept the reality. You can't change something that you don't admit is a problem. Step one is to get honest with yourself. What's the problem? What is the thought or behaviour that is holding us back? I think the reason people don't make change is because you have to be willing to look at your own contribution to the problem. It's easier to blame others however moving forward requires self ownership of
I got myself here so I can get myself out of here.
🙋🏽♀️ There's an aspect of this that says to admit you're powerless. I disagree. I think we can recognize that we came to it honestly, as in not our fault because we do the best with what we know; to me it's about owning that you made your own choices so you can empower yourself to make new choices.
2. Have faith in a higher power. To me, this is about creating a friend in your head so you don't feel alone. Some people follow spiritual paths with figures like Jesus (Yeshua), Buddha, Jah, Allah and more. Others follow motivational speakers like Tony Robbins. I walked the park listening Chris Brown and Trey Songz, pretending they thought I was hot and wanted to be friends with me. I guess it depends which void your trying to fill, or new self-perspective you're trying to create.
Personally, writing is how I talk to God.
and music is how I listen.
Submit to the higher power.
I think this one's about building self-trust, which leads to trusting others. Because it's true, we can't do it alone, I don't think we were ever meant to.
Part of this is trusting "God's Plan" and recognizing that you're made for more. Just remember, the God you hear is a voice in your head - so you gotta clean up the voice in your mind if you want a supportive God to talk back.
🙋🏽♀️ I heard somewhere that healing your relationship with God, is a direct reflection of the relationships you have with your parents.
*An Energy Healer taught me this prayer,
"I let go and let God, I let go and let God. I will that my will be thy will, I will that thy will be my will."
It's basically saying, I give up - my humany self doesn't know what to do anymore. So I'm asking that a higher power takes the lead and that what he/she wants is in alignment with what I want.
Embark on some soul-searching Self - reflection - how did we get here? 🙋🏽♀️ I use my journal for this.
Starting with a vent session, I brain dump everything I'm currently feeling, then think back to the last time I felt this way, and the time before that. I find the pattern, which is a thought or behaviour that is repeating itself. It usually starts as a coping strategy which worked at one time, but now it's outdated and needs to be upgraded.
Admit your failings
A few years ago I had a hard conversation with my sister who told me I was selfish. I didn't see it that way until she said it out loud. I told her that when she checked out with depression, I felt left alone. She reminded me of the time the guy who was mean to her at school liked me, and when he came to our house I brushed her off because I cared more about the attention on me. I told her I was sorry for not listening at the time. And also, that it hurt my feelings when we were kids, she didn't want me to play with her and her friends and left me out when our cousins came around. I started looking out for myself, and by the time the tables turned, I had stopped listening.
I write to understand my own feelings, but I stay stuck until I'm able to hear and accept how my choices/actions have affected others.
We talk about it, then we both feel better and are able to move forward.
Be ready to let go
This is where I learned to say, f*ck it.
No one is perfect, and everyone is thinking about themselves. Do you, just keep it balanced and have compassion for those around you.
Show humility
Ask for help, communicate what you need, and let others be there for you. Just make sure you return the favour. No one feels good without some kind of equal exchange.
Show willingness to make amends.
It says to make a list of everyone your behaviour has hurt and start thinking about reaching out.
I think I did this backwards. I started with writing those who I believed hurt me, and then challenged the story as to whether or not they really did me wrong. What was my role in the relationship? What kind of energy was I sending out?
I believe in forgiving others because it's not worth murking up your own energy to hold onto grudges. I forgive to free myself, but I don't forget.
✍🏽 Then I made a list of the people in my life that I care about, wrote names of those I want to know that I love and think about them and I try to check in with these people as often as I can.
I think this step is tricky, because making amends isn't about forcing someone to forgive you because you've changed. If you've really hurt people, they will forgive you at their own time. However, all change/healing comes from the willingness to let your guard down and start the conversation.
Begin to make amends
I focused on re-building the relationship with myself first. You get what you expect. So if you see yourself as a failure and expect to always be second best or give up on yourself, you'll stay stuck in circles. I began with small promises of self-care to myself, like waking up early to write, then holding myself accountable. I focused on re-building the trust in myself to put my needs first and take positive action.
Then I thought about family, because who can be truly happy when you aren't good with those around you? I never thought the relationship needed to be perfect, I just tried to look for understanding, practice patience, and show up in a way that keeps my side of the street clean.
I didn't want to carry bad blood.
Next looked at friends, who makes me feel good? Which relationships fill my cup, give me energy and nurture my soul? In which environments can I show up as myself?
Keep going. Based on your experience, journey, the sh*t you've been through, who can you help? Who needs to hear your story? What can you do to feel like a positive contribution to society?
Check in with your progress
How ya doing? Do you see changes within yourself? Recognize how far you've come and celebrate yourself. You deserve it.
Discover your plan and purpose. What do you want?
If you could be/do/have anything - imagine life is yours to design any way you choose, no one would be mad or upset and that thing on your mind is yours, what do you want? Most people have a hard time answering this - but it's where all your magic lives.
What are you denying yourself?
What is that you want, that you're telling yourself you can't have?
✍🏽
Your job is to decide what you want. Then get out of your own way and let God do God's job, which is to re-arrange life so you can have it.
Share the message.Own your story and share it with others. You never know who needs to hear it.
Self image is who you tell yourself you are.
Life, and your results, are your feedback.
My mentor and I talk a lot about self image.
I have a lot to say and wrote a whole book about it. :)
👇🏽
My Hypnotherapy teacher
Marisa Peer, says:
"Every thought you think, every word you say, is a blueprint that you must move toward." "Your mind does what it thinks you want, so tell it clearly." "The most important words you'll ever hear in your entire life are the words you say to yourself."
and AI suggests, How to apply these quotes :
Pay attention to your thoughts: Be aware of what you are thinking and saying, as your mind is working to make it your reality.
Repeat affirmations: Regularly repeat "I am Enough" and other positive affirmations to reprogram your mind and build confidence.
Be clear about your goals: When you want to achieve something, be clear and specific in your thoughts and words to direct your mind effectively.
Challenge negative self-talk: Understand that negative internal dialogue can create negative outcomes, so consciously work to change it.
Motivation doesn't find you - you create the momentum.
1. Find what you love and be brilliant at it.
2. If you want to be happy, praise yourself a lot.
3. First, you make your beliefs, and then your beliefs make you.
4. Your own praise is more effective than anyone else’s.
5. Every word you say is a blueprint that your mind, body, and psyche want to make a reality.
6. If you believe it’s true, you make it true.
7.Your mind has the most powerful healing potential on the planet.
8. There’s nothing that builds you up the way self-praise does.
9. If you want to be happy, praise yourself a lot.
10. When you believe in you, everyone else believes in you.
Marisa Peer, founder of Rapid Transformational Therapy
To create my own momentum, I ask myself... which playlist provides the feeling, perspective and energy I'm currently looking for?
🎵 Playlist : Listen Here
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